John Mulaney Announces Olivia Munn Pregnancy Seth Meyers Interview Transcript

Seth Meyers: (00:02) We're thrilled to have our first guest here with us tonight. He's an Emmy winning comedian and writer you know from his work on Saturday Night Live, Oh, Hello on Broadway, and Netflix's John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch. Please welcome back to the show, our very good friend, John Mulaney. Seth Meyers: (00:29) You're back. John Mulaney: (00:30) Hello. Seth Meyers: (00:31) You were here. You were in studio a while back. John Mulaney: (00:36) I'm told that I was, yeah. Seth Meyers: (00:39) You had a year. John Mulaney: (00:39) Yeah. It's nice to see you. Seth Meyers: (00:41) It's great to see you as well. John Mulaney: (00:42) How are you? Seth Meyers: (00:42) It's good. We've talked a fair amount, but I haven't seen you for a good long time. John Mulaney: (00:45) No. It's been awhile. I packed a lot into this... Is it September now? Seth Meyers: (00:50) It is a September. Yeah. John Mulaney: (00:52) Okay. So since last September, I went to rehab in September. Okay? I got out in October. I moved out of my home from my ex-wife. I host Saturday Night Live on Halloween. Seth Meyers: (01:08) Yeah. John Mulaney: (01:08) I relapse on drugs after the show. Not directly after. I just mean not after, well after good nights. Well after. Seth Meyers: (01:19) You have always said to me the Halloween show of SNL is sacrosanct. John Mulaney: (01:25) You cannot be under the influence of anything on that. You have to be stone cold sober. Seth Meyers: (01:32) Okay. So you're coming out of that. John Mulaney: (01:33) I hosted that. I did relapse back onto drugs after that. And then, I'm told I took a job here and I remember doing... You asked me to do Royal Watch: News of the Real Life Crown and how's that segment going? Seth Meyers: (01:51) It's on hold. John Mulaney: (01:52) Oh, okay. Yeah. Seth Meyers: (01:54) Peacock is interested. John Mulaney: (01:55) Oh, I'm sure. Sure. What isn't Peacock interested in? And let's see, then I continued using drugs. You and some other friends staged an intervention as you recall. I went to rehab again this time for two months. I got out in February. I lived in sober living for another month and a half. The insurrection was on January 6th, but I had nothing to do with that. That was actually, I was away when that happened. Seth Meyers: (02:28) You can't be laid at your doorstep. John Mulaney: (02:30) No. And it wouldn't have happened on my watch. There was never an insurrection before I went to rehab and have they done it since I got out? Seth Meyers: (02:38) Not one. John Mulaney: (02:38) They wouldn't dare. Baby J's back on the streets. Then in the spring I went to Los Angeles and met and started to date a wonderful woman named Olivia. Seth Meyers: (02:51) Who I know well. She lovely woman. John Mulaney: (02:53) You know Olivia Munn very well. I met her actually for the first time in life at your wedding to Alexi, your wife. Seth Meyers: (02:59) Yeah. John Mulaney: (03:00) Yeah. So it's nice something good came out of the wedding. That's just a clean, good joke all around. That's a fun joke all around. Seth Meyers: (03:10) It's a fun joke for her. John Mulaney: (03:11) Yes. It's a great joke for her. And you'll have fun with it at home tonight. And she got to date me right out of recovery, which is what they call a reverse catch. And no, but I'm sorry. But it is a very, very lucky thing to have met this woman and to have like... You've dealt with me... You knew me before I was on a lot of drugs. You knew me while I was on drugs. You did not know me immediately after stopping drugs. So been a challenging time. Seth Meyers: (03:45) Would you say that is the hardest version of John Mulaney to be? John Mulaney: (03:48) That to be? They're all uncomfortable to be, but no. Yeah. It's like newborn Bambi legs. You know how when Bambi's born, Bambi's like, "Hey, I used to be on cocaine." Seth Meyers: (04:02) I thought Thumper was on cocaine. John Mulaney: (04:08) Thumper, They never tested Thumper. Thumper was on Adderall. But I got into this relationship. That's been really beautiful. And with someone incredible, who has like dealt with the non-coked up Bambi version of me and that's been very incredible. And she's kind of held my hand through that hell and we're having a baby together. Seth Meyers: (04:43) That's really exciting. John Mulaney: (04:43) Thanks. Seth Meyers: (04:43) Congratulations to both of you. John Mulaney: (04:44) I was nervous when I was about to say the news. That's why I looked down and then I looked up. Seth Meyers: (04:49) Yeah, yeah. No, like it wasn't that you like forgot it or anything. John Mulaney: (04:52) No, no. Seth Meyers: (04:53) It's really thrilling. John Mulaney: (04:54) I'm going to be a dad. Seth Meyers: (04:55) Yeah. It's going to be amazing. Congratulations. John Mulaney: (04:57) Thank you. Thank you. We're both really, really happy. Seth Meyers: (05:00) It is so much. You really crammed so much into a year. John Mulaney: (05:05) I did. I did. Especially for someone that used to have many years of not much interesting. Seth Meyers: (05:10) Yeah. I mean, when we met, you were a young, very successful comedian. You were a wonderful writer, but you were a square. And of all the people I knew in those early years of your time at SNL, you would be the one I would least predict to have a year- John Mulaney: (05:30) I was the one always running around telling people to be sober during Halloween. Yeah. Seth Meyers: (05:34) You were like the Halloween- John Mulaney: (05:35) This is a special show. Yeah. Seth Meyers: (05:36) And so I remember once even we were in Chicago and we went out to like... We writers would go and like go watch- John Mulaney: (05:43) Oh, yeah, we'd go see. Yeah. Seth Meyers: (05:44) And we went out to a nightclub and you were at the nightclub and you were like, I'm going to leave. It's too loud. And I'm sorry. John Mulaney: (05:51) Yeah. I remember that. Seth Meyers: (05:53) And when I watched that fellow walkout, I never would've thought that you would have had this year. John Mulaney: (05:57) Yeah. You weren't like that's tabloid fodder right there, that guy. Can I ask you a question? Seth Meyers: (06:04) Yeah. John Mulaney: (06:04) You have kids. Seth Meyers: (06:05) I do. John Mulaney: (06:05) What do you say when you meet them? Because I don't want to be too formal. Like, hi, I'm John... But to be too casual. Seth Meyers: (06:12) This is going to be hard for you and they will not know your work. And so, that is going to be a really tricky way to start it off. John Mulaney: (06:20) That is... Seth Meyers: (06:21) Yeah. John Mulaney: (06:22) So they'll know me as a writer? Seth Meyers: (06:25) Look, if she does her job as a mother they'll know your credits, they just won't have seen the work. John Mulaney: (06:30) Right, right, right. Seth Meyers: (06:31) But that's an exciting thing that you get to do it all for them for the first time. John Mulaney: (06:36) You mean- Seth Meyers: (06:39) You'll be there when they hear horse in a hospital. You know what I mean? John Mulaney: (06:43) Yeah. And we're saying they because it's triplets. It's not really. But if it was triplets, could we name the ugliest one Seth? Seth Meyers: (06:55) We'll be right back with more from John Mulaney. Seth Meyers: (06:58) Welcome back to Late Night. We're here with John Mulaney. You mentioned the intervention. How was it for you? John Mulaney: (07:08) How it was for me, my intervention, was when I opened the door, I knew right away it was an intervention, which means that's how bad of a drug problem I had. That when I opened a door and saw people, I went this is probably an intervention about my drug problem. Seth Meyers: (07:22) Yeah. John Mulaney: (07:24) Actually, you know the gambit that I was going to dinner with a friend from college, at their apartment. And so, you were the first person I saw as I walked through the doorway where I knew this was an intervention. So I'm like going to dinner with a friend from college, going to dinner with friend from college, going to dinner with a friend of college. What's Seth Meyers doing here? Seth Meyers: (07:49) You also knew... You obviously know what an intervention is. You're a smart guy. And it was my memory of it was how quickly you tried to tell all of us... Like you were like don't. I get it. It's an intervention. I get it. We're good. I agree. John Mulaney: (08:05) I remember walking in and going, "Okay. Okay." And then I did... God, I needed to be the smartest person in the room, even at the intervention. So I remember saying to all of you before you all read your letter, I have a drug problem and I need help. Just to scoop you. Seth Meyers: (08:34) Yeah. So we all had to go through and cross out- John Mulaney: (08:35) Everyone had to cross out- Seth Meyers: (08:37) ... where we tell you had a drug problem. John Mulaney: (08:38) I've got no intro now. Seth Meyers: (08:39) Or now we had to say, we have like as you previously mentioned. John Mulaney: (08:42) You know, it's like John says you have a drug problem. Seth Meyers: (08:46) There was a wonderful professional there, a professional interventionist. And she was doing what a professional does. And you were very much like, "Am I allowed to jump in?" John Mulaney: (08:58) Yeah. Seth Meyers: (08:58) Like you very much wanted to let her know that you were ready to get past. John Mulaney: (09:02) Yeah. You're doing a kind version of how I came off I think. I recall a few times going I know what an intervention. And the worst part was, and I do regret this, that two things I kept doing. I kept insisting I was sober at the intervention. Remember when I looked at everyone and I went, "I'm sober now. I'm sober right now." I wasn't. Seth Meyers: (09:26) Yeah. John Mulaney: (09:27) I was on... I remember when I kept going to the bathroom, that was for drugs. But then the other thing that still sticks, do you remember when I insisted on getting the credit for days I hadn't used drugs? Seth Meyers: (09:40) Yeah. John Mulaney: (09:41) Yeah. That was a really weird hill to die on in the middle of an intervention to be like, I want you all to acknowledge that Monday and Tuesday, I didn't do any drugs. And everyone was like, okay, we acknowledge that. What was it like on your end? Because I got to be high during it. So was it an awkward affair? Seth Meyers: (10:04) Yeah. It was awful. John Mulaney: (10:05) Yeah, was it? Seth Meyers: (10:07) Mostly because, again, you do those things because you're really worried about your friend. So it starts from there also. Again, I don't want to make it about... Or I don't want to take the focus away from the drug part, but you were very late. We've talked about on the show about how you want people to be honest about the fact that you are not a punctual person. And you were hours late. John Mulaney: (10:29) I was two hours late. Seth Meyers: (10:31) Yeah. John Mulaney: (10:31) For what I thought was dinner. Seth Meyers: (10:33) Right. John Mulaney: (10:34) Which is not a priority to someone on cocaine. Seth Meyers: (10:36) And I do want to stress though that like had it been a dinner and not an intervention, people also would have been upset. John Mulaney: (10:41) It would have been equally bad. And do you know the thing that made me the most late? I went to get a haircut at 7:00 PM. Dinner was scheduled for 7:00. Seth Meyers: (10:52) Yeah. John Mulaney: (10:53) I went at 7:00 PM to get a haircut at Saturday night, live in the Emmy award-winning hair department because I don't know why, but I wanted a haircut and I was very coked up. And I took my badge from when I worked here and I went to the eighth floor of 30 Rockefeller Center and I walked in and I said, "Can I have a haircut?" And Betty's like, "Oh, John, you're not hosting this week." And I said, "Can I have a haircut?" And you know, when a junkie comes into your office and asked for a haircut and you're like, it'd be faster to cut the hair. So I got a haircut here at SNL. And then I was like, okay, got to go to dinner. Seth Meyers: (11:33) Well, the other thing was that sounds like a lie someone on drugs would tell a friend who wasn't in show business because your college friend was not in show business. John Mulaney: (11:43) No. Seth Meyers: (11:43) And we're all at her apartment. John Mulaney: (11:45) Yes. You're all at her apartment. Seth Meyers: (11:45) And she's on the phone. And she came in and said, "He's getting a haircut at Saturday Night Live. And then all of us who worked at Saturday Night Live were like he's not getting a fucking hair cut, but you were. Because then I called Saturday Night Live and said, "Hey." John Mulaney: (11:58) What'd you call, the switchboard? Seth Meyers: (12:00) I called the switchboard. John Mulaney: (12:00) You called the page tests. Seth Meyers: (12:03) I called. And I asked someone, "Could you go check for me? Is John getting a haircut at Saturday Night Live?" And then someone came back and said, "He is currently getting his hair cut at Saturday Night Live." And I was like, I can't believe it. That son of a gun really went after all this. And it was just nice to know that with everything you were going through and your substance issues, you still went and found that free haircut. John Mulaney: (12:26) I did. Yeah. I still got a free hair cut in the midst of it. And it was as if I knew... Like I look back and I'm like, wow, I was going to rehab for two months that night. And I had no idea, but some part of me was like you never know when you're going to need a hair cut. Seth Meyers: (12:44) That's true. You probably were the most clean cut looking- John Mulaney: (12:47) I was the best looking guy at the intervention. I'll tell you that much. Seth Meyers: (12:50) Yeah. John Mulaney: (12:51) I came in cocaine skinny with a brand new haircut. And you looked like Jerry Garcia. Seth Meyers: (12:56) Yeah. I've been sitting in an apartment with strangers for eight hours waiting for my friend to show up. John Mulaney: (13:00) Yeah. Waiting to be tense and not do any bits. Seth Meyers: (13:05) Oh, yeah. We didn't get to do any bits. Were you disappointed that you were the only one who was allowed to... Or did you love it? Because you were the one who was being funny and the rest of us, we were not allowed to be funny. John Mulaney: (13:14) I didn't know you weren't allowed to be funny. Seth Meyers: (13:18) Right. John Mulaney: (13:19) Let me say this about it. I walk into the intervention and I'm so mad. I didn't want an intervention. I wanted to continue... At that moment in time, I wanted to continue using drugs. Sitting here tonight, I'm so grateful to you and to everyone there for saving my life. Okay. That night I was not grateful. And yet as mad as I was, I looked around at the group and I was like, this is a good group. It was like a we are the world of alternative comedians over the age of 40. And I mean, like so many funny people and then no one did bits the entire time. Seth Meyers: (14:01) Yes. I think you know the gravity of the situation when Fred Armisen is not doing a bit. John Mulaney: (14:07) Fred was serious. Do you know how off-putting that is? Seth Meyers: (14:11) Yeah. John Mulaney: (14:12) Fred was like, "Hey John, I'm really worried about what you're going..." I was like, "Stop. I'll go." Seth Meyers: (14:20) Also, most of Fred's bits start with- John Mulaney: (14:23) With I'm not doing a bit. Yeah. Hey, this is serious. I'm not doing a bit, but he really was- Seth Meyers: (14:28) This time he really wasn't doing a bit. I want to talk about some more stuff. Will you stick around? John Mulaney: (14:34) Yeah, of course. Seth Meyers: (14:35) More from Mulaney when we come back. Welcome back. We're here with John Mulaney. So you appeared on this show as a guest, right after you hosted SNL. John Mulaney: (14:43) Yes. Seth Meyers: (14:44) Then you started working here and you did a segment called Royal Watch. John Mulaney: (14:48) Yes, News of the Real Life Crown. Seth Meyers: (14:51) In both of these segments, you wore sunglasses and a jacket that Julian Casablancas- John Mulaney: (14:56) Yes, Julian Casablancas of the Strokes had given me a big trench coat, a cape of sorts. Seth Meyers: (15:01) And so, you weren't on the show and after Royal Watch Real Life Stories. John Mulaney: (15:06) Royal Watch: News of the Real Life Crown. Seth Meyers: (15:08) Right. A lot of people were like, whoa, something's wrong with John Mulaney. And you and I, and I should note that as somebody who is spending a lot of time with you, I look back and I'm like incredible ignorance to what you were going through. I mean, I knew you had gone to rehab and come out, but I did not... Anyway, what happened was a lot of people are like I think something's wrong with John Mulaney. And you and I were like, nothing's wrong with you? And then it turns out something was wrong with you. And when you look at the photos, those people... John Mulaney: (15:39) I'm in a tough spot here because it's like the boy who cried wolf, the boy who cried Royal Watch: News of the Real Life Crown. I was not under the influence while delivering my Royal Watch: News of the Real Life Crown report. Seth Meyers: (15:57) Yes. John Mulaney: (15:58) I had been under the influence the day before and the day after I probably was under the influence. But while on the show trying to update the audience on the Royal Watch at your insistence, I was more sober than not. However, a lot of people were then saying, something's wrong with John Mulaney. And I was sitting at home going indeed, something is. Seth Meyers: (16:22) Yeah. Well, the real problem of it, not knowing of course, moving forward what would happen is it was a perfect photo for when you then went back to rehab. John Mulaney: (16:33) Yeah, very rarely does someone make a public appearance looking like that moments before being institutionalized. And so, yeah, everyone going, "John Mulaney checks into rehab for alcohol and cocaine abuse." And then the photo is of me in those sunglasses. Seth Meyers: (16:54) Maybe this one. This is a guy who's about to show. John Mulaney: (16:59) That's a guy moments and his friend just laughing in ignorance. Friend just kicking back. Seth Meyers: (17:06) Nothing's wrong with this guy. John Mulaney: (17:07) Nothing's wrong with this guy. Seth Meyers: (17:08) Oh this one. Look, I think I look a little concerned here, maybe there for the first time. Thinking, wait a second. John Mulaney: (17:15) Also, anytime I'm wildly gesticulating into the audience. Seth Meyers: (17:19) Right. And I think just in case everybody wants to get the timeline down, we did not have an audience. John Mulaney: (17:23) No, you did not. No, that's an excellent point. Seth Meyers: (17:26) So this is you... That's basically you gesturing to Wally. John Mulaney: (17:29) That's me playing to the crowd that isn't there. Seth Meyers: (17:33) Well, you couldn't see. John Mulaney: (17:34) No, I couldn't see. But I mean, how crazy I must have been to suggest that Harry and Meghan were desperate for publicity back in November when that totally came true later. Seth Meyers: (17:47) Oh, he's doing it again. John Mulaney: (17:48) Right, crowd? Seth Meyers: (17:49) He's doing it again. Look, I'm always very happy to be your friend and I'm very happy to be in your presence. And this year, I was lucky to spend a lot of time with you. And it was a real roller coaster, but I'm very happier on the other side of it. I am so happy for you and Olivia. This is very exciting news. I love you very much. John Mulaney: (18:14) It's the best. Seth Meyers: (18:14) And I'm glad you're doing well. John Mulaney: (18:16) I love you, Seth. You guys saved me from drugs, and Olivia and this baby have helped save me from myself and this early journey out of recovery. And yeah, I don't have a joke for that. I'm really grateful to you, buddy. Thank you. Seth Meyers: (18:35) I'm grateful to you. John Mulaney: (18:36) I love you. Seth Meyers: (18:37) I love you. Thank you for being here. That's John Mulaney and we will be right back with Regina Hall.