Biden Speaks at the 2024 White House Correspondents' Dinner

Thank you, thank you, thank you. If you think your Irish grandparents were wondering. My great-great-grandparents that got here in 1846 and went, "What in the hell's going on?" I want to thank you for the warm welcome, but please not so loud. Donald is listening. Sleepy Don. I kind of like that. I may use that again. (00:35) Kelly O'Donnell, President of the White House Correspondence Association, thank you for having me.

Thank you sir.

Kelly O, let's be honest, you're way too young to be president. It's been a year since I delivered this speech, and my wife Jill is with me tonight, was worried how I'd do. I told her, "Don't worry. Just like riding the bike." She's, "That's what I'm worried about." (01:06) Of course, the 2024 election is in full swing, and yes, age is an issue. I'm a grown man running against a 6-year-old. Well, I feel great. I really feel great. I'm campaigning all over the country, Pennsylvania, Georgia, North Carolina. I've always done well in the original 13 colonies. (01:38) And speaking of history, did you hear what Donald just said about the major Civil War battle? "Gettysburg? Wow." Trump's speech was so embarrassing, the statue of Robert E. Lee surrendered again. (02:00) But look, age is the only thing we have in common. My Vice President actually endorses me. (02:08) I had a great stretch since the State of the Union, but Donald has had a few tough days lately. You might call it stormy weather. What the hell? Trump's so desperate he started reading those Bibles he's selling. Then he got to the first commandment: You shall have no other gods before me. That's when he put it down and said, "This book's not for me." (02:51) Look, being here is a reminder that folks think what's going on in Congress is political theater. That's not true. If Congress were a theater, they'd have thrown out Lauren Boebert a long time ago. (03:12) To all my friends in the press and Fox News, some of you complain that I don't take enough of your questions. No comment. Of course the New York Times issued a statement blasting me for "active and effectively avoiding independent journalists." Hey, if that's what it takes to get the New York Times to say I'm active and effective, I'm for it. It's okay. (03:42) I have higher standards. I do interviews with strong independent journalist who millions of people actually listen to like Howard Stern. (03:59) And I know you're looking around and saying, "This guy's been doing this for 50 years. He's had his moment. Give someone else a chance." To say that I say, "Lorne, ignore the critics. Ignore the critics." (04:16) Lorne's a great friend who's had eight comedians play me over the years on Saturday Night Live, eight. And who the hell says I'm not a real job creator? Look, Lorne's had even more comedians and actors joke about me, like the funny guy in Weekend Update, Michael Che. He's hilarious. (04:43) Scarlett Johansson, you did such an incredible job in your State of the Union rebuttal. But you should do Weekend Update. Clearly, you're the funny one in the family. (04:58) Look folks, on a serious note, in addition to marrying up, Colin and I have another thing in common. We both find strength in family. I got to spend some time with his family yesterday in the Oval Office. Colin's dad was a high school teacher in Staten Island and his mom is an incredible woman, a family of firefighters, was chief medical officer in New York City fire department on 9/11. As a doctor, she rushed to Ground Zero, risking her own life, treating and saving fellow first responders. Rushing into danger for others is my definition of patriotism and heroism. (05:36) And so is what all of you do when you report truth over lies. That's why I want to close the night with my genuine thanks to the free press. There are some who call you the enemy of the people. That's wrong and it's dangerous. You literally risk your lives doing your job. You do. (06:11) Covering everything from natural disasters to pandemics to wars is so much more, and some of your colleagues have given their lives and many have suffered grievous injuries. Other reporters have lost their freedom. Journalism is clearly not a crime. Not here, not there, not anywhere in the world. And Putin should release Evan and Austin immediately. Just we're doing everything we can. We're doing everything we can to bring home journalists, fellow journalists, Austin and all Americans like Paul Whelan who are wrongfully detained all around the world. And I give you my word as a Biden: We're not going to give up until we get them home. All of them. All of them. (07:04) On the third anniversary of January 6th, I went to Valley Forge and I said, "The most urgent question of our time is whether democracy is still the sacred cause of America." That is the question the American people must answer this year. And you, the free press play a critical role in making sure the American people have the information they need to make an informed decision. (07:31) A defeated former president has made no secret of his attack on our democracy. He said he wants to be a dictator on day one and so much more. He tells supporters he is their revenge and retribution. When in God's name you ever heard of another president say something like that? And he promised a bloodbath when he loses again. (07:52) We have to take this seriously. Eight years ago you could have written off it as just Trump talk, but no longer, not after January 6th. (08:03) I'm sincerely not asking any of you to take sides, but I'm asking to rise up to the seriousness of the moment. Move past the horse race numbers and the gotcha moments and the distractions, the sideshows that have come to dominate and sensationalize our politics, and focus on what's actually at stake. And I think in your hearts, you know what's at stake. (08:27) The stakes couldn't be higher. Every single one of us has roles to play, a serious role to play, making sure democracy endures, American democracy. I have my role, but with all due respect so do you. In the age of disinformation, credible information that people can trust is more important than ever. And that makes you, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, makes you more important than ever. (08:52) So tonight, I'd like to make a toast, to a free press, to an informed citizenry, to an America where freedom and democracy endure. God bless America. (09:12) Now, I'm going to turn it over to Kelly. Then you'll hear from a real comedian. I think I know what I'm in for. Colin Jost has taken aim at me before with his jokes.

Oh, I'm sure. You ready?

Like saying, "After winning the South Carolina primary, Biden barely edged out his closest rival, time." Colin, when I win, I'm going to have a whole hell of a lot of time and I'm going to be watching you, pal. (09:46) Kelly, back to you.

Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you very much. Thank you.